Circle Sessions on Mental Health Part 3. Healing From The Past: My Inner Child
In therapy some may offer an exercise where you write a letter or relate to the little person you once were and what would you say to them? The idea is that approach that child with unconditional understanding and empathy. It may be hard to imaging but at first, this was NOT my reaction. I became frustrated by the “how did you not know” or “there were so many signs” or “wow that was hilariously ridiculous” kind of thoughts. and how some of these perceptions became so isolating. Coincidently, while creating this painting I found myself heading back to my inner self. About how much she took from the environment around her and when things happened without explanation, how the weight of the unknown became paralyzing. This time, I found myself doing something that is a result of the hard therapeutic work: I began acknowledging the pain, riding the wave of the feelings and giving myself forgiveness like I would a close friend who is always there for me.
My truth is this: I would never wish anyone to go through the traumatic experiences that are a part of my journey AND I would not be who I am today without those experiences. Whether I like to admit it or not, those experiences give me the ability to empathize with others. Those experiences are how I am going to help others going through similar pains.
While I was painting this piece, I saw the chaos of the background as my past experiences. The colors I used specifically to represent me withstanding the light despite her surroundings. As I thought about my inner child, I made the choice to start a second circle representing the inner light that survived the traumas of the past. As I put this painting to dry on the shelf, I feel a release of weight I did not realize was still there.
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